Pregnancy so far has been rather miserable. Nausea, heartburn (worse since I've switched to ranitidine from esomeprazole), and the constant fatigue that isn't relieved by sleep! My goodness!!
Guilt comes from many factors: not eating right is one. Who can drink 4 glasses of milk!! Crazy people! I use to tell myself that I'd drink that much milk in pregnancy cuz it would be good for the baby, but now I just take a calcium supplement. And i don't know what vegetables to cook for myself. So there's feeling guilty that the fetus is absorbing crap all because I don't don't have an appetite or I'm too tired to cook. Second, not exercising, not even taking walks. Again, so darn tired. I tried doing a workout video and was completely exhausted by 10min!! I'm sure I'll pay for this later. Instead, I'm over-indulging my sweet tooth with Haagen Daaz ice cream bars...again, will pay for it later.
And all these feelings makes it hard to be excited about the pregnancy, which is what "normal" expectant mothers should be, but alas, I am not, and therefore, feel guilty. I'm surprising even myself by my lack of excitement and abundance of apathy. And I like babies! I see them everyday! They are cute and lovely; but right now, it's hard to look forward to that when there's so many adverse physical symptoms to contend with. Argh...
The book I ordered arrived, it's good...not exactly relevant to what I'm going through right now, but a little bit of reassurance that some other expectant mothers feel the same.
It's also nice to talk to a friend who understands.
1 comment:
amen sister. amen to the tiredness. amen to the guilt. amen to the paying for it later. ha ha haa.
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